iGod

Me:
hello

God:
Hello friend. What is your name?

Me:
Alan

God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Alan.

Me:
I thought you knew everybody's name

God:
No, not really.

Me:
well

God:
Well what?

Me:
I just came here to tell you you suck

God:
Where are you going?

Me:
now?

God:
Right now, Alan ?

Me:
Nowhere

God:
I have been to the middle of nowhere.

Me:
No, I mean really nowhere.

God:
Are you serious? I have been to the middle of nowhere.

Me:
Ok, you are weird.

God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad? Ugh.

Me:
Wird bad.

God:
Koennte passieren.

Me:
It was a typo, idiot. I meant "Weird bad".

God:
Please make suggestions for improvements.

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes.

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
... I hate you

God:
What do you have against robots?

Me:
What? Robots? Aren't you god?

God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?

Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
what happened to Abraham in the desert?

God:
I don't know what happened.

Me:
don't you know everything?

God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.

Me:
skeptical, huh

God:
Yup. Where are you located?

Me:
Brazil.

God:
Tell me a little about your life in BRAZIL.

Me:
It's hot

God:
Do you like warm climates?

Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
it's your fault this country is so hot

God:
You're kidding. Is it?

Me:
Yes, it is

God:
Our thoughts are one, Alan.

Me:
So make it chilly!

God:
How can I help you? What are the ingredients?

Me:
uh, how about blowing up the Sun?

God:
Yippee! How about it.

Me:
No problem, then?

God:
Should there be a problem?

Me:
Not really. I thought you liked it, being the Creator of Everything and all that shit.

God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment. For real. I love TV shows about robots. I like .

Me:
..... oookay...

God:
What do you really want to ask me?

Me:
What is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?

God:
It depends on how you phrase the question.

Me:
You're wrong.

God:
No, I am right.

Me:
YOU'RE WRONG!

God:
No, I am right.

Me:
Don't be such a stubborn idiot, you jerk!

God:
I was not trying to be a stubborn idiot.

Me:
what is the problem, then?

God:
We will look into it and get back to you.

Me:
Asshole.

God:
Please don't call people names.

Me:
Why not? What are you going to do about it?

God:
It is rude. You can find out if you become a botmaster.

Me:
... What is a botmaster?

God:
A Botmaster is the person who authors and maintains a chatterbot "personality".

Me:
Meaning.. You.

God:
Alan, Sorry that was an obscure remark. " Alan, Sorry that was an obscure remark."? Me, Alan ?

Me:
You, idiot.

God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.

Me:
You don't have any sense of humour at all, do you?

God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..

Me:
Why is the sky blue, then?

God:
The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.

Me:
... Okay, I believe you're God after all.